My thoughts began wondering as I saw on twitter that a few talented photographers had received enquiries for not just 2014, but also for 2015. That’s three whole years away people.
Now firstly, I would like to say that I think it’s fantastic that the wedding industry is so booming and that there’s lots of lovely couples tying the knot – that makes me so so happy.
However, I just thought I’d ask….what happened to the year long engagement?
Image / Marta Locklear via Style Me Pretty
Typically as the story goes, couples would be engaged for a year which would be more than enough time to plan their wedding – I’m fairly certain that this was the whole reasoning behind an engagement – but now it’s quite the norm to have an 18 month or even a two-year long engagement.
Whilst I don’t think there’s any reason to hurry yourself down the aisle – I can’t help but think there is unnecessary panic around planning a wedding and wonder if this is from the wedding industry? Dressmakers panic you into making you think you need at least 6 months for your dress to be made. Of course, wouldn’t everyone like a confirmed amount of money in advance with lots of time to do your job? Yes that’s the ideal, but realistically 3 months should be more than enough time – so why panic you? Venues usher you into putting a deposit down years in advance to secure your ‘so-called’ popular September date.
And lately I’m hearing more and more about couples moving their actual wedding dates to secure the photographer of their dreams – which whilst very flattering for the photographer, it does seem somewhat crazy? There are so many amazing talented photographers out there, I’m surprised that there is need for this to happen. Perhaps everyone is going for the same popular dates/months?
Image / Sweet Wedding Details on Etsy
Part of me can’t help but wonder what happened to the boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love, boy and girl get engaged and then a year later boy and girl get married? The problem now is that a year although should be enough, it isn’t. Top venues are booked on all the popular dates (January wedding anyone?) and of course there is also the small issue of your guests. As a girl who has to book a night out with her friends three months in advance I can only imagine how much time I will need to give them to save the date for my own wedding [oh and if you are reading this, you know who you are!].
There’s also the momentum. A year’s engagement will fly by, you’ll have a few months of being in that amazing loved up, special bubble where friends congratulate you, send you cards and you enjoy more than a few glasses of bubbles. You are then in a whirl of wedding planning, decisions, weekends of venue visits, coffee with the in-laws and city trips with your girls to find them dresses. Then there’s the party weekend of the stag and hen, and before you know it – you are walking down the aisle.
What a buzz of a year, but stretching that over two years? Well, already I’ve been engaged 8 months and have done no planning and let me tell you it’s slightly less exciting now. The novelty soon wears off, with every purchase treat or splurge on a night out, or a pair of shoes you find yourself punishing yourself as you should be saving for the ‘wedding fund’ and it really is quite tiring to have to constantly think about IT. With time you also start to question the decisions you’ve made – you quickly learn to step away from the bridal magazines in case you spot the dress of your dreams when you’ve already put down the deposit on what you thought was it 8 months ago.
Let’s also not forget the boys here. Boys though they will nod, agree to go with the lamb and might if you’re lucky find the wedding DJ, let’s be honest, are NOT that into weddings. Boys [correct me if I’m wrong] but having your fiancé obsess about whether to choose white or black envelopes for the invitations for 6 months doesn’t exactly make for fun pillow talk. All the quality time you spend together there will always be wedding chat, and discussions and… guaranteed disagreements.
Image / Marta Locklear via Style Me Pretty
I actually attempted to plan my own wedding in 4 months for fear of falling into all the above, but it wasn’t possible. Well not possible if you want something half decent, and your guests to show up that is.
I don’t think you should have to wait two years to have the wedding of your dreams, but perhaps this is what it has come to? Weddings also cost money, quite a bit of it and if you aren’t lucky enough to have savings or a generous family then affording a wedding in 4 months is again, highly unlikely.
I’m sad that I’ve missed the spontaneity, I’m sad that I didn’t get the date I wanted [stamps feet] and believe you me, my other half is sad that he has to listen to wedding chat for a whole lot longer…
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. Did you have a long engagement? Have you struggled securing the suppliers you wanted? Answers on a postcard…